I am not usually a person that gets "spiritual" thoughts out of movie; however, I watched the movie "Kingdom of Heaven" last night. It was a greatly intense movie, and gave me much greater insight into the crusades of that time (also helps that Orlando Bloom is easy on the eyes).
Things I learned...
....The crusades lasted for 200 years. Think about that! That is at least five generations of men, if not more who went to war to fight for the privelege of "owning" the City of Jerusalem.
....It wasn't a war that accomplished anything. It was merely a bragging rights of whose flag flew from the highest point in Jerusalem...Christians or Muslims.
....God was NOT in the middle of this war. I can't even imagine what He was thinking as the crusades drug on for years and years.
This is my journal entry today:
"As I sat watching the movie last night, I commented on how lame it was that the very city these men were fighting for was the very city they were destroying in order to gain control. The Syrian (I think) Prince wanted nothing more than to see the Muslims in control of Jerusalem once again, so they laid seige to the city they claimed as theirs.
Then I got to thinking--my life is the "city" God wants to control; however, I stand at guard not allowing God entrance. He then starts "attacking" areas of mylife that need to die. Sometimes I feel as if they are personal attacks, and that I won't survive. Other times I just hunker down and pray that the debris I see falling all around me won't hit me. Yet I am praying against the very debris God is sending down as a notice to get my attention. Sometimes God does have to destroy us or our shell in order to get to the prize He is looking for. So do we stand at the gate of our fortress defending it or do we come out to surrender and 'give terms'? God very much wants my full cooperation and surrender.
Now I need to realize what God was trying to destroy in order to build me back up. Is it the lies of the enemy that I thought I had been prevailing against (loneliness, fear of never being married or a mother, discouragement)? Is it the plans I have laid out for my life? Do they not truly match up with God's plan for my life? Is it the need to have deeper relationship with Abba Father?
The crusades lasted for two hundred years. At the end men were fighting each other in a war, that neither side had been alive at the onset of...NOR truly knew the reason for the continued fighting. I don't want to have God trying to destroy things in my life for 2 years, nonetheless 200 years.
I come out!
I Surrender!
I come to terms!
I am yours. Kill that which needs to be killed and breathe life into that which you want to see be fruitful and alive."
So where is my Kingdom of Heaven? In the city of Rachel waiting to rise up as a powerful force in my life and in the lives of those around me. A city that is ready to march and do battle in a Godly way and for a Godly reason.
Where is your Kingdom of Heaven? What are you fighting for? What is God fighting for in your life?
2 comments:
Great Post Rachel, keep it up!
Wow Rachel! You have such deep thoughts. I enjoyed reading them. I have found that with having to trust the Lord to give me children, He has never failed me. When some might wonder why I wasn't walking around in deep sorrow before I had kids...it was by the grace of God and knowing deep within that He was going to give me those desires that He must have placed there. I had no choice but to trust and with each child He has amazed me with His faithfulness beyond what I even thought or imagined. And I held strong to the verses that He gave me. You can't go wrong with those promises! It was almost like I would never let myself dwell on the what if's that seemed so horrible like "What if He never gives me children?" I just would not allow myself to go there. I would do the complete opposite. He told me to delight myself in Him and He would give me the desire of my heart. So, I set my heart to do so. I know you've heard all this before. But I know God is faithful and I love your positive attitude. Too many times our mouths can get in the way and speak the negative and that is not what we are supposed to do. I am looking forward to seeing you married and meeting your family that God already sees as complete. He knows who they are and will be. Just like he knew who my kids would be long before they arrived! It was a done deal already!
Love ya,
April
Post a Comment