Barbie

I read the following at http://kmps.com where I happen to work! It is an article that our mid-morning/afternoon DJ, Stubbs, read on air:

Barbie Dolls Inc. Announces The Release Today of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Seattle Market:

Medina Barbie:This princess Barbie is only sold at Bellevue Square (at selected stores only). She comes with assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog and a 2 million dollar house. Options include tummy tuck, face lift, spa certificates for Tiba, and a workaholic cheating husband Dr. Ken.

Issaquah Barbie:This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan, gets lost easily, and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit.

Tacoma Barbie:This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a slammed Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows and a Methadone Clinic Ken. Also available in a jailbird version with orange coveralls.

Belltown Condo Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up Hummer 2, Starbucks cup, credit card and shallow Ken.

Kent Barbie:This white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and she can kick Ken's a$$ when she's drunk. A pickup is available with Confederate flag bumper stickers.

Auburn Barbie:The Murfreesboro version has a mouth that is firmly closed so as not to show her summer teeth, Daisy Dukes and a half T-shirt that guarantees you can see her navel piercing and at least 5 tattoos. Both versions swear incessantly and are not recommended for children. She is a GRCC drop-out, and has never made it out of what she calls "the rockin' boro"

Everett Barbie:This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie still has not learned that you can't wear high-heeled sandals from Payless with no pedicure and without breaking a heel and falling while you chase your beer gutted mullet wearing boyfriend. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with lips covered in a sparkly pink color or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back of her jeans, a white barely-there see-through shirt. Her long, layered hair is bleached/highlighted and BIG. Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi, and a 1996 Camaro Z-28.

Lynnwood Barbie:This Barbie is the same model of Barbie that was released in 1982. She comes with shoulderpads, dark polyester skirt, white pantyhose and a bad haircut. Options include a Rick James T-shirt, Walmart purse and outdated shoes.

Bonney Lake Barbie:This flannel wearing Barbie comes with her own 4-H ribbon collection, brown pick up truck and blue eye shadow! She's a country girl at heart with cow manure odored boots (scratch and sniff the soles for a realistic dose of country fun) Cowboy Ken is toothless and also clad in red and black flannel check shirt.