I'm taking the biggest step out of my comfort zone and moving from Puyallup, WA to Canton, TX in just two months!
A few months ago I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me and telling me to go! Go and support the pastor and community of Canton Foursquare Church. Not that strange since the pastor in question is one of my best friends. But to actually say I'm going and to do it? That's a different story. Telling my pastor that I was leaving was nerve wracking...I was worried that he and others would think my move was foolish. That I was moving for the wrong reasons. That I shouldn't be going. Ultimately I was fearful that I wasn't hearing the Voice of God on my own.
Flash forward to now...it's good. I'm moving. People are excited for me. God opened a major door and provided me with a new job months BEFORE I'm moving. I get to teach high school history...my dream job really. Confirmation that I'm doing the right thing.
Yesterday, I posted that I am very peaceful (yet a wee bit scared and nervous still) about my upcoming move. I am.
Yet....
I sit here on my couch crying. I'm scared. I'm almost afraid to admit that I'm scared.
The move is an adventure.
I'm scared that I won't have anyone. I'll only know three or four people. I'm used to knowing EVERYONE and EVERYTHING.
I'm feeling insecure about my role in the new church. Am I going to be looked at as an outsider coming in? Am I going to be accepted?
I'm scared that I'll no longer have my support system.
I'm afraid of losing my best girl friends that I can call and talk to and any time of day...I'll still have that, but won't be able to see them.
So, I sit here and cry some more. I admit it...I'm scared, I'm lonely, and I'm a bit fearful. God says not to be so I'm trying to bring it all to His throne room and lay it at His feet. It's hard to let go.
