WHEN YOU'RE FEELING STUPID, READ THIS!

Thank you Charlie for sending me this via email...he sends me some of the funniest things:

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever,"

-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest .

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
of my body,"

-- Winston Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward .

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

--A congressional candidate in Texas .

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

--Al Gore, Former Vice President

And ..

"We are ready for an un foreseen event that
may or may not occur."

-- Al Gore, Former Vice President